Archive for the ‘Science Fiction’ Category

So, Tom Charity over at CNN has a review up regarding X-Men First Class….
http://www.cnn.com/2011/SHOWBIZ/Movies/06/02/x.men.movie.review/index.html?hpt=hp_c2

Here’s my gripes:

  1. Magneto does not have telekinetic powers, he is a magnetist. He controls any material that can be affected by magnetism. Which is why most if not all of the X-Men developed technology is made/constructed of Carbon Fiber, Aluminum, and other non-magnetic materials.
  2. The White Queen (Emma Frost) does not turn her skin into ice, its diamond. DIAMOND YOU IDIOT!
  3. Yes the characters are for the most part very brooding and serious save Sean “Banshee” Cassidy. Those characters are SUPPOSED to be brooding! Beast, Mystique, Havok were all very brooding and troubled characters in certain ways. And Banshee was always more the fun loving prototypical Irish archetype. He, Nightcrawler and Wolverine would routinely go drinking together.

Look, I am not saying X-Men First Class will be the greatest film ever or anything…I am saying understand the source material prior to complaining about the end result. Its like watching the Kenneth Branagh film adaptation of “Much Ado About Nothing” and then bitching and moaning that they are speaking like its some sort of Shakespearean play…WELL YEAH NO FREAKING DUH! Or watching “Air Bud” and then stating its like its some sort of child’s movie and not Oscar worthy at all. Again, NO FREAKING DUH!

Just sayin is all. Just sayin.

Q

Both Prometheus and I have been flat out with work and life. We have a couple ReCasts lined up and will release them as soon as possible.

In the mean time…A quick open letter to Michael Bay..

Stop making movies. Seriously…STOP! Look at his filmography..http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000881/

The only good movie I see on that list is The Rock. Now you want to know what has me irked enough to speak aloud? Well, here it is….

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)
Director: Michael Bay
Sam Witwicky leaves the Autobots behind for a normal life. But when his mind is filled with cryptic symbols, the Decepticons target him and he is dragged back into the Transformers’ war.

Transformers has such an awesome conceptual history behind it. Very easy to get right, unfortunately, very easy to screw up. And screw it up Bay has!!! The design behind the transformers themselves is terrible…nay terriBAD! Truly…its BAD! LOOK AT THEM! The character development is horrible. Do we even know why Megatron is so evil? Does Starscream come across as the power hungry second in command that he was in the cartoon and comics? Screamer was always this bumbling fool with great power but a ridiculous almost comical ability to screw it up when he gets an opportunity. The film version could be non-existent and we’d not know the difference.

Soundwave was always this massive fan favorite as was Ravage, Rumble, Frenzy, and Laserbeak. We got a semi-cool looking Ravage, a useless Soundwave, and an utter annoyance of a Frenzy. The best Decepticon was Barricade from the first T-movie. And we barely got any of him.

Only one piece of Transformers is well changed. That is upgraded appropriately…Bumblebee. He should be a bad ass fighter and advanced operative. Bumblebee’s design is fairly decent and an excellent character. Why he still can’t speak right is stupid…probably because his voice from T-1 was TERRIBAD! Just get Will Friedle to voice him and call it a day. The clicks and whirs thing is annoying, he is NOT R2D2 dammit!!

The jokes in T-2 were HORRIBLE! They are wholly inappropriate for 5-12 yr olds, and THAT IS YOUR AUDIENCE! This is not SouthParkformers, Jackassformers, or FamilyGuyformers….The dumb bodily fluid jokes and sexual puns are NOT welcome in a flick I want my 7 yr old to enjoy. Oh, and lets not even discuss the autobot twins. My issue is not that they are offense, which they are, but they are just STUPID! They carried over a lame charicature that Bay’s version of Jazz began. Speaking of which…Why was Jazz killed?!? Megatron was destroyed and sunk to the bottom of the ocean and was revivied…but Jazz couldn’t be? Also, the all-spark creating new transformers thing…ok, I’ll buy it. But why are they ALWAYS DECEPTICONS?!? What, the all-spark cannot infuse anything to be good? Then where in the hell did the Autobots come from to begin with?!?

Look…the reality is this. Designs=Bad, Story=Bad, Script=Bad. You even managed to take John Turturro one of the best character actors in Hollywood and make him just STUPID in T-2. You actually had some chemistry between Megan Fox and Shia Lebeouf and you managed to screw that up. Here’s a hint Bay…Actors/tresses are SUPPOSED to have haughty attitudes…Directors are NOT! You can claim you made her…but you have done but one good flick yourself jack-hole. Get your head out of the deep dark cavernous place you seem to have it lodged.

To Hasbro…don’t ever let this fool touch your IPs again.

To Hollywood….don’t let this fool touch ANY IP again.

OK, this one is somewhat of an untouchable but I like a challenge… Star Wars

Luke Skywalker- Mark Hamill, Jamie Bell

Han Solo- Harrison Ford, Colin Ferrell

Princess Leia Organa- Carrie Fisher, Kate Mara

Grand Moff Tarkin- Peter Cushing, Zeljko Ivanek

Ben Obi-Wan Kenobi- Alec Guinness, Ken Watanabe

C-3PO- Anthony Daniels, Doug Jones

R2-D2- Kenny Baker, CGI (cause Kenny Baker is the man!)

Chewbacca- Peter Mayhew, Daniel Cudmore

Darth Vader (voice)- James Earl Jones, Ian McShane

Boba Fett- Jeremy Bulloch, Stephen Lang

Blade Runner - Poster

OK, Blade Runner. I know this film is on most people’s “Untouchables” list but I wanted something strong as our first post. Here we go…!

Blade Runner- 1982

Los Angeles, 2019, Rick Deckard, a blade runner, has to track down and terminate 4 brutal and cunning genetically engineered organic robots called replicants who  have returned to earth seeking their maker.

Original Cast
Rick Deckard- Harrison Ford
Roy Batty- Rutger Hauer
Rachael- Sean Young
Gaff- Edward James Olmos
Pris- Daryl Hannah
Captain Bryant- M. Emmet Walsh
Dr. Eldon Tyrell- Joe Turkel
J. F. Sebastian- William Sanderson
Leon Kowalski- Brion James
Zhora- Joanna Cassidy
Hannibal Chew- James Hong

Prometheus’ ReCast!
Rick Deckard- Clive Owen
Roy Batty- Daniel Craig
Rachael- Marion Cotillard
Gaff- Mads Mikkelsen
Pris- January Jones
Captain Bryant- Brian Cox
Dr. Eldon Tyrell- Geoffrey Rush
J. F. Sebastian- Steve Buscemi
Leon Kowalski- Peter Stormare
Zhora- Sarah Shahi
Hannibal Chew- Randall Duk Kim

Quori’s ReCast!
Rick Deckard – Tom Hardy
Roy Batty – Mark Strong or Walton Goggins (I am totally torn…love them both for this part!!!!)
Rachael – Gemma Arterton
Gaff – Rufus Sewell
Pris – Sienna Miller
Captain Bryant – Terry O’Quinn
Dr. Eldon Tyrell – Tom Wilkinson
J. F. Sebastian – Paul Giamatti
Leon Kowalski – Jason Flemyng
Zhora – Rhona Mitra
Hannibal Chew – Steve Buscemi

Alright, what do you think?